Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
