Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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