careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
