Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
