And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
