I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
