dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
