You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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