Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
