Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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