she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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