your thong is hanging out like whoa
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
