She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
