In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
