I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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