Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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