need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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