Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you never un-have a 4some
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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