i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
