i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
