Im at strip club and am horny
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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