just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
