I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
