Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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