She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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