i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
