return my video game
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
