Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Boobs are out for the taking
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
