I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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