I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
