shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
