did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
