i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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