i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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