Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she peed on how many people?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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