1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
