how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
