Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
