Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
