you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
