i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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