ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
