yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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