Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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