Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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