just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
