2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
