i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
