I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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