If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
