why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
