I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
