His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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