Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
