Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
